More often than not, things do not turn out the way we anticipate. We have this idea that things will unfold in a certain way and when they don’t we can find ourselves questioning our abilities and our worthiness. However, it is when life doesn’t work out like we had planned that we have the opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our true value. It is when things don’t work out perfectly that we can fully appreciate the beauty in ourselves.
There are times in our lives when we feel like we’re less than because we don’t measure up to an ideal standard. That feeling of not being smart enough, strong enough, attractive enough, or good enough can prevent you from unveiling your true capacities. There will always be someone who is stronger, faster, prettier, or smarter than you, but that should not deter you from your passions, interests or goals. Far too often we shy away from taking risks because we don’t feel that we are enough. We all have feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy, and we all have plenty of life examples to support that feeling, but we do ourselves and those around us a disservice every time we give into it.
We miss out on life every time we procrastinate from taking action because we are waiting for a perfect set of circumstances. While you’re waiting to be perfect and for the ideal situation, life is moving on and you can find yourself waiting for a moment that may not come. It can be exhausting to be on a mission to be perfect, especially if that version of perfection is never achieved.
If your self-worth is formed by comparing yourself to others you may find yourself competing in a race that leaves you feeling unfulfilled. Deep down inside we long to prove that we are worthy but we go about it by trying to achieve external validation in the form of perfection. We should use the accomplishments of others to motivate us to strive for excellence but only as it relates to accomplishing our own goals. We are all unique and have different gifts, so comparing yourself and your achievements with someone else and their goals will not result in inner fulfillment.
Focusing on all the things that you are not keeps you from appreciating who you are. Each of us have qualities that make us who we are, and these qualities are unique to you. The life you have lived and the experiences you have encountered have unfolded perfectly in order to allow you to share those unique gifts. It is important to recognize that the imperfect qualities and attributes that you possess are what make you who you are. The issues we are trying to avoid or overcome often hold the opportunity to expose and acknowledge our gifts, if we let it. Trying to be someone that you are not will inevitably lead to feelings of unworthiness and frustration. True freedom comes from embracing yourself along with your imperfections because they make you who you are.
Reasons for loving somebody rarely include being the smartest, richest, fastest, or most successful. People who hold a special place in our hearts get there by being their perfectly imperfect selves.
“There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in. ” – Leonard Cohen
Copyright Dr. Julie Doobay 2021
