There is a fundamental difference between needing more and wanting more. Need is formed from scarcity whereas wanting comes from a place of abundance. In times of scarcity, either real or perceived, our thoughts and actions are driven by lack and it becomes easy to focus on what we do not have. When we “need” something we are implying that without it we cannot survive. On the other hand, wanting is the desire to enhance or expand upon what you already possess. Wants and desires are also important as they encourage our growth and advancement. They are the spice of life.
There is a powerful force created within when you allow yourself to tap into the energy of desire. The force created provides you with the energy and motivation to fulfill your dreams. However, if our wanting something is interpreted as unnecessary or selfish it can trigger feelings of unworthiness or guilt. When this happens, rather than unleashing the energy to attract what we want, we actually use our energy to keep our desires repressed. Sometimes we simply ignore or bury our wanting entirely. Other times, we may try to trick ourselves by focusing on what we do not want, in a kind of stealthy sideways strategy to get what we really desire. Either way, not feeling deserving or worthy of having your “want” will repel the object of your desires, and even attract the opposite of what you want. In order to achieve what you want, the energy that the desire creates within you has to be strong enough to motivate you to take the appropriate action. When we do not truly believe that we can get the thing we want, momentum and inspiration are diminished. However, when we really feel that we deserve the object of our desires, energy and motivation are liberated.
Think of a time in your life when you wanted something so badly that you absolutely had to have it. Do you remember your determination, courage, relentless focus and creativity in finding ways to take steps towards your desire? Wanting something creates an intense and inexplicable desire that comes from deep within. For a brief moment, the desire is so strong that it allows your imagination to actually “feel” what it would be like to have what you want.
Once you can feel what it would be like to have what you want, then you must truly believe that you will have it. Your mind knows no difference between what you actually have and what you believe you have. The neurotransmitters, emotions and energy that are produced and released within the body are the same whether you simply believe you have something or whether you actually do have what you desire.
But this is often when our mind trips us up with fears and rationalizations. To avoid self-sabotage, you first have to give yourself permission to have things that you don’t “need”. Acknowledge that you are worthy and deserving of having both your needs as well as your wants met. Yes, your most basic needs must be met to ensure your survival. That’s the primary goal of your mind. But your wants satisfy the desires of your soul. And life is meant to be lived and enjoyed, not just survived!
To fulfill your wants and dreams, you must be clear on what it is that you do want, otherwise you start attracting what you were trying to avoid. And it is not enough to just know what you want. You must also get really clear about how it feels to have that which you desire.
A really good exercise is to make a list of the things that you want. Include things like material possessions, values, habits, characteristics etc. Be as specific as you can. Then imagine how you would feel to have these things. Again, be really specific as you write down all the thoughts and feelings that are evoked during this exercise.
When you know and focus on what you want, and when you believe you are worthy of achieving it, you will begin to attract all that you enjoy and desire. It is the way life works. Wanting is a powerful force and can have far reaching effects for improving your health and happiness.
“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” – Paulo Coelho
Copyright Dr. Julie Doobay 2023
